THE LIGHTER SIDE

Scuba diving has the reputation of being an adventurous if some what risky avocation. Instructors and dive magazines alike tend to focus their attention on deep , meaningful subjects like advanced training, buoyancy control , diver etiquette and so on. Often the lighter side of diving is ignored , shunned if you will. After all , who would dare to reveal the dive masters mistakes or the dive buddies blunders. OK, I would.
Up front I state emphatically that we all live and learn and that I am in no way perfect , heck , some of the following events might by some rare occurrence be autobiographical. There was that dive trip years ago to the islands off Southwest Nova. An intrepid group of divers employed ferries , vans , cape island fishing boats , and an inflatable to reach a spot reported to be directly above a little known steamship wreck. One of the company became the author of his own misfortunes shall we say. In his haste to be first on the wreck he unselfishly volunteered to do a visual on the anchor below. After repeated attempts to descend the anchor line left his fins ineffectually fanning the air , our volunteer had to admit that a weight belt is better used on divers than as ballast for an inflatable.
Have you ever thought about the amount of times as a diver we've put our trust in others. This is after all the basis of the buddy system. We trust the boat captain , for example to be competent and calm under pressure. Now I can recall one boat captain who had mastered the art of setting his charter guests at ease. While attempting to leave a tightly congested wharf he simply stepped out of the wheel house , engines roaring , to inform us that there was " NO HELM!! NO HELM !! " And while were telling all , who would believe that a soon to be dive instructor and entrepreneur would be so hot for scallops that he would hit the water and immediately discard all superfluous equipment , unnecessary items like a tank , regulator , and gauges. Streamlining your equipment right? And how about this one. With the Bay of Fundy tide running at it's peak , a trusting group of less than experienced divers heading for Black Rock , are commanded to " jump and swim like hell " by the dive master. Some fun huh Bambi? Trust your equipment I was instructed early in my dive career. So , when I was offered the compass of the instructor while taking a course in under water navigation I was understandably confident. Wrong ! Unbeknownst to me , this particular compass was exactly 180 degrees off. That's correct , backwards. How I found my way home I'll never know.
Like the numerous wonderful dive sites in the bay there are many humorous stories as well. People passed out upside down in their new dry suit , dry suit zippers left open providing a cool refreshing dive , but in these times of political correctness one story demands to be told . While diving with a mixed group of checkouts and others I overheard the sweetest thing. But I'm getting ahead of myself. There was a young man of better than average fitness , to my chagrin , accompanying his girlfriend on her open water checkout. He had been certified previously and was keen to have his partner as his buddy if you get my drift. They joined the instructor in the water and began their dive. As the dive masters job was mine that day I was following their progress from the boat. The three sets of bubbles started out in the same direction but soon one set veered away . This isn't good thought I , and sure enough momentarily a diver's torso exploded through the calm surface waters like a ballistic missile launched from a nuclear submarine. I could immediately see that the diver's B.C. was full of air and I could here that the regulator was functioning properly. So what's the problem I mused ? The diver suddenly starts to wave his arms and scream unintelligibly in my general direction. I took stock of the situation and informed my coworker that " if this guy thinks that I'm going in to get him he's nuts " or words to that effect. Instead I calmly instructed the diver to swim the whole ten meters to the boat. This he did putting a death grip on the gunwale. I foolishly asked , " are you all right ? " , and his response was to begin with the screaming and waving again. Needless to say we got this poor fellow on to the boat A.S.A.P. . Now for the good part. After everybody was safely back on board the Pegaris , including our troubled diver's girlfriend , I was enjoying the sun on the wheelhouse roof within earshot of the afore mentioned couple when he explained to his partner the cause of his consternation. " I was just so worried about you dear " he said without blushing I might add. What a sensitive new age guy eh ?
So the next time the conversation around the dive shop turns to those deep meaningful topics just keep some of these gems in mind and remember, there but for the grace of God go I.... or your dive instructor , dive shop owner , boat captain, .................

Enjoy diving
.

p.s. All names changed to protect the guilty.
Any resemblance to people or situations in real life are completely the result of this writers actual experiences

Story supplied by: David Logan